Virtuous Circle Counselling

Couples Therapist

Will A Couples Therapist Tell You To Break Up?

Whether you are pondering a breakup, trying to decide whether you should leave a relationship, or wondering if you should be with your partner at all, chances are that at some point the thought has crossed your mind that perhaps you should seek therapy. You want to know if there is something wrong, and whether or not it can be fixed but you’re also worried that your therapist will tell you something you don’t want to hear, which raises the question “will a couples therapist tell you to break up?”

In the therapist’s chair, many apply pressure to themselves over concerns of whether this person is really “the one” and what did I marry or commit myself to when I said “I do?” That is why it is critical to work with a couples therapist in Calgary who:

1. Is trained in effective techniques that can lead individuals in your situation to look differently at themselves and their relationships; and 

2. Understand the nuances of working with couples in distress. 

A couples therapist should be trained in a variety of expertise such as:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples;
  • Gottman Method Couples Counselling Treatment;
  • Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy;
  • Multimodal Therapy;
  • Acceptance Commitment Therapy; and other modalities.


A couples therapist should strive to help you move from a place where your feelings are driving you emotionally downward toward depression and sadness toward a place where you feel hopeful about your relationship despite any obstacles the two of you may face.

What Really Happens During Couples Counselling?

Couples Counselling in Calgary is a form of psychological therapy that works well for many couples experiencing long-standing relationship distress. At the start of therapy, couples are likely to explore the main problems in the relationship that cause most of their stress. Couples often discuss parenting issues, intimacy issues, and communication issues during initial sessions.

However, counselling is about more than just sorting out a specific problem; it’s about helping couples to feel more connected to each other and the relationship, a process that often involves examining their feelings and thoughts toward each other and toward the relationship. During that examination, both partners are likely to see things they didn’t like or didn’t know were there. Couples will also get new ideas and discover things they want to do differently.

Can Couples Counselling In Calgary Fix A Relationship?

In order to save a relationship, it is vital that both partners go into counselling with a willingness to work towards a common goal which is the strengthening of the relationship. Solo work on their own issues are helpful tools but in order to save a relationship, both parties need to be willing to work together.

The Takeaway

A therapist’s job is not to tell you to stay in or leave a relationship. It is the couple’s responsibility to decide if they are happy being in the relationship and these decisions belong solely to them. Couples come to therapy because, after doing their own due diligence, they want a second opinion from someone neutral and separate. A therapist will come up with a list of options and a plan based on the couple’s goals, needs and values. If no plan can be made, then just like anything else, it is best that you don’t enter into something that doesn’t make sense for you.

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We at Virtuous Circle Counselling acknowledge Moh’kinstsis, the lands where the Bow and Elbow rivers meet, in what we currently call Calgary. We acknowledge that we are visitors on Moh’kinsstis and acknowledge the Blackfoot are those who named this area as Moh’kinsstis. In the spirit of Truth and Reconciliation, we recognize the ancestral territories, cultures, and oral practices of the Blackfoot people, the Îyarhe Nakoda Nations, the Dene people of the Tsuut’ina Nation, and the Métis Nation of Alberta, Region 3.