As if sharing the duty of raising kids isn’t hard enough when you are in a relationship, it can get even more complicated once you are separated. Here we will discuss how to co-parent when you are no longer in a relationship. First and always, keep the best interest of your children in mind.
Common Co-Parenting Problems: What Can Be Done About Them?
Even though you and your ex might not get along so well, you should always remember that you are both parents and should put your children’s needs above your own. If you end up having a disagreement with your ex, take a step back and think about the children before you do anything rash. This will go a long way in helping you be the best possible parent you can be.
Here is a list of the road bumps you may encounter as you co-parent and what you can do.
1 – Negative Talk About the Other Parent
One of the worst things you can do when it comes to co-parenting is to badmouth your ex. This will have a negative effect on your children and will damage their relationship with your ex-partner. If you have something to say, talk to the other parent directly. And if you are the parent who is being verbally abused by the other parent, try communicating, if you are on speaking terms; if not, ask for advice from your family lawyer.
2 – Conflicting Disciplinary Rules
If you and your ex have different disciplinary rules, you are going to need to find a way to make sure that your kids are following the rules you (and not the other parent) lay down. You can even go so far as to write it down, so there is no dispute about what each of you expects from your children.
3 – Lack of Communication
If one parent isn’t communicating with the other, children could get confused and end up feeling torn between their parents. If you are having a hard time communicating with your ex, consider using a family mediator or counsellor.
4 – Disrespectful Behavior
To be the best co-parent you can be, you’ll want to make sure you are respectful of your ex whenever you are in front of the children. You never know how they will be influenced, and even if they aren’t around you, they may hear something from a family member or friend – making it important to always be respectful.
5 – Lack of Trust
If you can’t trust the other parent, then you will have a hard time co-parenting effectively. You’ll have a hard time trusting the other parent if you think your kids are being negatively influenced– you will need to work with the other parent to make sure this doesn’t happen.
Being a great co-parent isn’t easy, and it takes work, but it is possible. If you follow these tips and guidelines, you can develop a better co- parent relationship.
Should you be in need of Calgary family counselling services, visit Virtuous Circle Counselling. We know mental health is important, and in knowing this, we provide Individual Therapy and Couples Therapy by our Registered Psychologists and Experienced Counselors. Services are accessible with extended hours to offer in-person sessions, online therapy, or phone counselling.