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Overcoming Codependency

Overcoming Codependency – Virtuous Circle Counselling

Codependent relationships can get complicated. In this type of relationship, your partner’s well-being becomes entangled with your well-being. It can be hard to put attention on yourself when you’re in a codependent relationship. If you are looking to give yourself more attention and self-care, this blog is going to discuss how to stop being codependent.

1 – Practice Small Acts of “Smart Selfishness”

Codependents commonly find themselves saying “yes” when they really want to say “no.” They are afraid of disappointing others, and they fear being alone. Codependents often feel like they’re in a tug-of-war between their wants and needs and the needs of their partner. If you find yourself always saying “yes” when you really feel like saying “no,” practice saying “no” to things that you know don’t matter to you. Don’t say “yes” if you don’t want to. You don’t have to feel pressured to do something just because someone else wants you to.

2 – Take Time for Your Own Needs

It’s okay to schedule and plan pleasurable activities for yourself. It’s okay to put yourself first. If you have been putting your partner’s needs above your own for a long time, it’s time to put your own needs ahead of your partner’s. If your partner wants to be in a relationship with you, he or she should be okay with it. If your partner is someone who struggles to accept independent self care continue to communicate your desired expectations and needs of the relationship.

3 – Don’t Feel Guilty

Codependents feel guilty when they spend time alone. They feel guilty when they do something that they want to do. You don’t have to feel guilty or bad if you spend time on yourself or if you say no to your partner. There is nothing wrong with wanting to take care of yourself, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to do something that benefits you. You can’t do everything for everyone, so don’t feel bad if you want to put yourself first.

4 – Get Support

Don’t do it all on your own. If you are in a codependent relationship, it’s time to get support for yourself. If you need help, go to a therapist or a counsellor. The counsellor will help you improve codependent relationships. When you get outside support, it will help you make a change. The thought of being without your partner can be scary. But you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have your own life, even if it is outside of your relationship.


It can be hard to break out of a codependent relationship. But if you want to get out of it, you can. You just have to take small steps to take care of yourself first. If you follow the tips above, you will be able to start being a happier and healthier person who is ready to be in a healthy relationship.

If you are looking for therapists in Calgary, come to Virtuous Circle Counselling. Let us help you get the support you need today!

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We at Virtuous Circle Counselling acknowledge Moh’kinstsis, the lands where the Bow and Elbow rivers meet, in what we currently call Calgary. We acknowledge that we are visitors on Moh’kinsstis and acknowledge the Blackfoot are those who named this area as Moh’kinsstis. In the spirit of Truth and Reconciliation, we recognize the ancestral territories, cultures, and oral practices of the Blackfoot people, the Îyarhe Nakoda Nations, the Dene people of the Tsuut’ina Nation, and the Métis Nation of Alberta, Region 3.