Virtuous Circle Counselling

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I Can’t Forgive My Partner

Mistakes happen, and they are normal. However, letting some mistakes slip might be more challenging than others. Therefore, partners need to consider if they would forgive each others for their mistakes. But in relationships, what should a partner consider before forgiving their partner for their mistakes? Here are some ideas.

1. Frequency of Mistake

A mistake is inevitable. People make many mistakes in their lives. However, they should avoid making mistakes that hurt others. If a partner repeatedly makes the same mistake, it could be frustrating for their partner, and that person might need to consider if they want to be involved in the relationship anymore.

If a relationship is worth keeping, it should be based on love, trust, and honesty. Therefore, the commonness and frequency of mistakes in a relationship can contribute to its failure. For instance, a habitually unfaithful partner will never gain the love and trust from their partner. It is important to understand and communicate how frequent mistakes can affect the goals of the relationship.

2. Severity of the Mistake

Some mistakes are more severe than others. For example, if one partner had done something wrong, how severe the mistake should be considered. For instance, if one partner cheated, the couple might find it difficult to reconcile. However, some relationships are still thriving despite one partner cheating.

In this case, the partner who has cheated should be remorseful and consider working on building trust in the relationship. But if the same mistake was made again, such as infidelity, their partner may feel that their relationship has no chance of succeeding and might consider ending it.

3. Damage Caused by the Mistake

Every person has different reactions when something hurtful has happened to them. Therefore, every mistake can cause further damage to a relationship. For instance, if the partner who has cheated is a good person and the couple’s relationship is strong, the other partner might consider forgiving them.

Alternatively, if the damage is severe such as lying and cheating, the other partner may consider ending their relationship. In this case, the couple should be sincere with each other to understand what they want from the relationship.

4. Sincerity of the Apology

Apologies are important in a relationship. Through apologies, partners can enhance a relationship. Therefore, when a mistake has been made, that person needs to make an effort to be accountable and apologize. Apologies are very vital to having a great relationship.

The sincerity of the apology must be seen. If a person pretends to be sincere when apologizing, it will not help them even if the other person is willing to forgive. Therefore, it is helpful to know if the apology is genuine to result in a happy ending for both parties.

5. Time Spent Together

If two people are in a relationship lasting for many years, it might be difficult for partners to break up with each other. However, if a person has been unfaithful, it may not be easy to make them change. Remaining in a relationship when one person has cheated could be difficult because it may not be a one-time thing.

Conclusion

When a mistake has been made, it is important to admit to the mistake, apologize and try and maintain the relationship. To understand the factors that make a relationship strong, it is vital to have trust. While forgiving your partner for their mistakes is helpful, it is also not a requirement. Take time to consider your feelings and options moving forward.

Virtuous Circle Counselling is a counselling practice dedicated to direct positive changes in one’s life. Our goal is to provide Counselling Services in Calgary, including couples and individual therapy services, to help couples communicate better and heal from potential hurts. Check out “Our Team” page to see if one of our psychologists or therapists are a fit for you.

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We at Virtuous Circle Counselling acknowledge Moh’kinstsis, the lands where the Bow and Elbow rivers meet, in what we currently call Calgary. We acknowledge that we are visitors on Moh’kinsstis and acknowledge the Blackfoot are those who named this area as Moh’kinsstis. In the spirit of Truth and Reconciliation, we recognize the ancestral territories, cultures, and oral practices of the Blackfoot people, the Îyarhe Nakoda Nations, the Dene people of the Tsuut’ina Nation, and the Métis Nation of Alberta, Region 3.